How can you say goodbye if you cannot accept that someone you knew your entire life is gone for good? Its almost as if she has gone on a tour or just to school and she will just be coming back. Is it because her leaving was so unplanned and sudden? Life is still going on all around as if nothing has happened. and yet, now when I think of home there is that blob of grey where all was once bright and shining. It feels as if suddenly the population has fallen to zero.
Mosi. You had so much to enjoy just now. Your job so near home. Your son who is growing up and getting more responsible. Your husband who loved you so tenderly it was for all to see. You still had to travel so much. You hadn’t visited my new home. You never knew how much we loved you. You should have seen your grandkids and fretted over them too. You had to see all your plants bloom. You had to get all your new dresses stiched.
One part of me says thankyou for the time that we did have together. That we knew you. That your son knew you. That we all will have anecdotes to tell of you. That we heard you sing like an angel. That we saw you with your husband singing and cooking and gossiping. That we saw you happy. That we saw how shy you were. That we saw all your superstitions.
I can’t understand whether to be thankful for you for the time you were there or angry for all the things that you will miss out on. You should have woken up mosi. You should just have woken up.